The past 16 months trying to manage life in pandemic mode (aka Covid-19) has been a struggle.  I’ve tempered my expectations of myself, my kid and others.  I’m coming to the realization that none of us are normal anymore. We all are doing the best we can to try to navigate change in a very drastic way.

Some of us are out here really struggling personally and professionally. I am ashamed to admit that I have argued with my family, friends and co-workers about utter nonsense. The stress of everything makes even small things very annoying. They are not okay and neither am I. I have days that I think my life is all together and other days I have no clue how I’m managing, but I push through anyway. Here are my pandemic takeaways:

#1 Homeschooling is hard work.

Before I was forced to homeschool my kid I had thoughts about homeschooling. My thoughts were it wasn’t for me. I’m now fully aware I am not cut out for that life. Homeschooling (online school) and trying to supplement my child’s education (using workbooks, classes, and online programs) at home was extremely difficult.  It was also especially hard while simultaneously trying to manage a full-time job (including zoom calls) and my own mental health. Of course, some of this was self-induced pressure because I was intent on enforcing supplemental learning the first half of the school year.  At the halfway point of the school year, I threw in the towel on supplemental learning. I quit.  I decided my kid will be fine.  Life goes on and nothing will be perfect.  The important thing was that we were healthy and I was fortunate enough to maintain employment. The takeaway was that I cannot do everything and it’s okay.

#2 Life in isolation made me value positive relationships more.

 I’ve decided going forward I’m pushing ahead in positivity.  I don’t want to spend my life talking about people and things that don’t matter to me.  I cannot be in a constant head space of negativity.  This includes taking in negativity from those around me including being dragged into negative conversations that are meaningless.  If we have learned anything from the pandemic it’s that life can be short. So love who you want, be who you want, don’t be afraid to tell people you care, and keep your focus on people in your life that matter. Everything else is just a waste of time.  The lesson is to surround yourself with people that want love not war. 

 #3 Being isolated without a partner during the pandemic sucked.

I can think of a lot of hard things but not having human contact and especially love and comfort from a mate was one of those things that was probably high on the painful pandemic experience list.  I’ve been single awhile but I was dating here and there so it wasn’t bad.  At least in dating there’s occasional human contact including physical touch. Being single during the pandemic was loneliness on steroids.  I don’t count talking on the phone with someone as dating. It just isn’t the same.   

Now in post-lockdown I don’t find dating any different than pre-lockdown, it’s still not my favorite thing to do.  Men that I date generally want to take it slow which is great, but it’s a process with no destination. I’m just enjoying it and figuring out where the journey leads. So hopefully we don’t go back on lockdown, because I cannot take the shop closing again completely. The key lesson is that dating matters, sex matters, affection matters, and love matters even if it’s just a little lusty love.

#4 Hanging out with exes is not the answer to loneliness even in a pandemic.

During the pandemic I had a couple ex-boyfriends/people I dated years ago contact me and I ignored their requests to hangout.  Clearly, people were lonely and understandably so but I wasn’t interested in revisiting the past. Some books are better left closed. We didn’t work in the past for whatever reason and trying to rekindle something in isolation was not going to work for me. The pandemic lesson is leave the past in past, move forward and breathe. 
 

#5 I can do hard things.

I’m the kind of person that loves to go out and do things all of the time. The pandemic allowed for none of that because everything was closed. We were left alone with nothing to do but stay home. I’m happy to say I made it through isolation for over a year with my kid and dog.  Ultimately the love from my favorite human and animal were what made my loneliest days the best days of my life.  I may never get to be that close to them all the time for that many hours again.  I truly appreciated having that time with them. I made it through and I did my best to keep us safe. The pandemic lesson was I have the ability to adapt and push through hard times.

So my final thoughts are now that things are opening I’m trying to re-adjust to a new different life.  I’d be lying if I said it’s been easy.  It’s been pretty difficult.  Our life is very different now.  We still have to take precautions, cannot travel freely, and we can’t hangout as much as did before. I’m still trying to stay covid-19 free while vaccinated and protect my unvaccinated child (he’s not old enough for the vaccine).

I’m just taking it day by day hoping everyday gets easier and life is restored at some point to a better normal than before the pandemic started.  One day I’d like to be able to use my empty passport and fly on a plane in peace.

Please let me know in the comments what are your pandemic lessons learned.