I was in the mist of my morning shower and I called to my son, “Are you putting on your clothes yet?” This was the second time this morning I uttered these words. I’ve conceded that it’s easier for me to keep “reminding” him that I need him to do something, rather than giving a stern negative yell. That behavior evokes negativity that doesn’t make either of us happy.
I’m constantly reminding myself to be patient. My child is his own person. He moves slow. He also many times immediately forgets instructions as soon as they are given. This reminds me of my own childhood and I frequently forgot things. My parents didn’t yell a lot, but I got plenty of stern talks. My style is somewhat similar to my parents except I’m a bit more patient. I also don’t include the occasional spanking in my parenting style, as did my parents when they lost their patience. I don’t believe in spanking.
I admittedly wasn’t the most patient person before my son’s birth. I loved to yell at people on the road (with my windows rolled up 😉). I also was rather short with people when they ticked me off. I honestly didn’t notice I was doing that until my son was born. I suddenly had an audience for my antics and I didn’t like what I saw. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t take a lot of self-restraint and reflection on my part to subdue my impatient nature. Slowly, like chipping away at a rock I’ve transformed into a better patient being for my child. With other people I’m still a work in progress, but I try.
I repeat instructions often.
For me, practicing patience means I repeat instructions early and often. Sometimes I have to tell my son to do things more than once before he does it. Like getting ready on a school day, he needs constant reminders. So I keep reminding him to hurry and eat in the morning. Then I remind him to put his shoes and jacket on. Some mornings he does it quick and I don’t have to repeat myself. Other mornings it’s a struggle. I feel like we all have good days and bad days. On his bad days I have to remind him a bit more than usual.
I try not to yell or talk in a mean tone. I’d be lying if I said I never do this. I occasionally yell, this is usually when I’m having a bad day. I then feel bad after and pull myself together 😉. Let’s face it I’m not a robot. Neither is my kid so I’m not expecting perfection from either of us. Just a bit of patience and understand when I’m having a bad day. He also needs that from me.
My son is a slow mover, he’s not that tidy, he’s a messy eater, he doesn’t have good aim when peeing and he’s sensitive. This probably describes most children and men around the world. Ha! So I add a little patience to deal with these things that are on my annoyance list.
I call my son “sweets” and “honey” when I’m annoyed.
I don’t know if my son knows this but when I feel myself being annoyed by something he’s doing calling him “sweets” or “honey” somehow de-escalates my state of annoyance. I’ve seen a lot of men and women do it with spouses, so I figured why not try it with kids. It works. Like when my son is calling my name for the fifth time and I’m just a couple steps away and would like to yell “what kid” instead I say “yes sweets.” A little “sugar” neutralizes negativity.
I tell my son he’s working my nerves and I’m really trying to be patient.
I’m not sure if my son cares, but when he is really trying my very last nerve, I get satisfaction by telling him to “pull himself together because he’s getting on my nerves.” I always say it in a nice or humorous way. When he was around 3 or 4, he used to respond that I was getting on “his nerves.” Well the feeling is mutual kid. My parents wouldn’t find humor in that kind of response, I did. I think it’s good to communicate feelings. It let’s me know you have them, even if I don’t like them.
The bottom line is parenting isn’t easy. For your own sanity it’s important to employ methods to keep the peace and minimize the stress. It’s a constant balancing act and you just have to keep trying. Being a patient parent is important.
Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/mommablissofficial
Follow me on Twitter at https://www.twitter.com/mommablissblog
Follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mommablissofficial
Follow me on Pinterest at https://www.pinterest.com/mommablissblog/
Copyright @ www.mommabliss.com